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Delight and Things

a little peek at what delights me

I’ve got a new job. And it comes with a uniform.

I’m working at the grain silos during harvest – I’m the weigh bridge girl; I’ve got the totally thrilling position of weighing each truck as they come in and then again as they leave to figure out how much grain they’ve deposited. And with great responsibility comes great safety gear. (Wasn’t that what they said in Spiderman?)

But I’ve decided to rock it. I’ll outline the amazing outfit and the benefits for you so you can understand why.

1) Fluorescent shirt with reflective tape. Isn’t fluoro in vogue right now? I’m pretty sure the stores are currently selling fluoro skinny jeans and singlets. Sure, maybe only slightly inebriated music-festival goers and children under the age of 10 are the target market, but they’re still there, right? And the reflective tape? Well, you can definitely see what I’m wearing at night if you flash your car headlights my way. It’s the perfect way to have your outfit seen even when its dark out. And I can only imagine – I could replace the disco ball on the dance floor at the bar if we had me positioned just right and shone the strobe lights on me. So it’s clearly practical on multiple levels.

2) Steel capped boots. Okay, maybe my steel capped boots are one size too big because that’s the closest they had to my size and I didn’t have time to get smaller ones. But nothing a pair of sherpa socks can’t fix, right? And just think of how hardcore I am in them. I can walk along without worrying if a bird is going to peck at my toe, or if Chuck Norris is going to jump out at me, or if the sky is going to suddenly start raining nails. My toes will be safe as houses.

3) Hard hat. Again, totally practical. Think of all the crazy situations that would require head protection that I no longer need to worry about. Also, the brim on it keeps the sun off my face, meaning no premature ageing from sun damage on my face! Awesome! But the best part? It’s the perfect whiteboard for doodling on with dry erase markers during the slower hours of the day. I can have a differently decorated hard hat every day, if I so choose. I’ll bet that pretty soon all the truck drivers are going to commission me to personalize their helmets, too.

4) Safety glasses. It took me a bit longer to embrace these than the first three. For two reasons. One, apparently I have a weirdly shaped face. I put on the company issued glasses and they didn’t fit. I said so, and everyone in the office said I was nuts and then came up to see if they could make them fit. No, they just plain don’t fit. So after feeling slightly like a mutant, I was issued a pair that did fit me, but had no sunglasses tint to them (bummer). And two, it was admitted to me that since issuing the safety glasses with the foam bits around the lenses to create a seal around your face the number of accidents involving tripping have gone up because you lose your peripheral vision in them. Right, so what’s the point? Well apparently the number of incidents of grain dust in the eyes have decreased. Alright, I can get behind that then. And as for fashion, I think that they’re pretty much the next Ray-Bans. And if I get bored between trucks I can pretend I’m Bill Nye the Science Guy and get crazy with some experimenting.

5) The layer of dust on my face. Because I live somewhere where we have very limited rain, pretty toasty temperatures, and limited vegetation, we have some a crap load of dust. And because I sit in a weigh bridge where great big trucks drive by all day filled with grain (another source of crap loads of dust), I am exposed to some of it. So I’ve started to become used to the feeling of dust, which is actually kind of a good thing because I used to have a bit of a problem with it. (You know how some people can’t handle that sound of nails on a chalkboard, or the feeling of cotton balls? I can’t handle the sound of dusty shoelaces being pulled together or dusty ropes or dusty anything pretty much. So you must be thinking I’m crazy to have come to dusty old Australia and then choose to work at the grain silos. Don’t worry, I’m aware. But moving on.) The good thing about constantly being covered in a layer of red dust is that I am probably less susceptible to getting sunburnt, as it’s sort of like an added layer of clothing, right? And also, it gives me the chance to see what life is like with brown skin (and for a fair skin, freckled red head, this is not an opportunity that often comes up).

And for the record – I actually don’t mind the job, when it’s busy. When it’s slow it’s a bit tedious. It’s definitely not the deadline oriented, creative, busy-busy-go-go office environment I was used to when I worked in an advertising agency, but for a casual position that only lasts a few months, it’s not bad.

So yes, I look like a hardcore working man every day now. But as you can see, the benefits of my new attire are endless. And it’s really made me come to appreciate the summer dresses and floral patterned items that are hanging in my wardrobe – bring on the weekends so I can feel like a girl again!

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